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2010/05/29 07:20PM
Communication: 1, 2, 3      Number of views: 3237
I don’t know where to start from; shall I start with myself as a bad communicator?, How well I’m now J, or shall I say that almost all people I met has a big communication problem.
In my early collage days, I studies two courses: Management Basics and Human behavior, and I really liked the subject, but, our school system has a big problem which is you must do well in the exam, so, the primary objective for your study is EXAM, so, you don’t look at how to benefit from your studies in the general life.

Anyway, I’m not going to list my experience here J as some are private and it would generate debates about what should I have done, but, I need to discuss one thing, why we are bad communicators? Although, this may interfere with cultural or environmental issues, but, it’s a common problem, I faced myself.


So, let’s begin, those some of the reasons that I really faced (myself and others):


 1.       Compromise not confronting: why people don’t confront and always compromise??? Comprise leads to lose lose situation on the other hand, confront achieves win win situation.
I guess it’s related to culture and how people are raised.


2.       Culture indifferences: each has his culture, so, do you understand each person's culture?

You as a person communicating with others, whether in working area or at your home, you have to really understand what the other party’s culture is and if you did something and others felt that it’s strange and inacceptable you must try to clarify the situation for him and overcome the culture barrier.


3.       I don’t care action, some people hides his miscommunication problems and shows some kind of ego behavior as he or she is strong and they enforce that, so, what’s really happen that, people will not try to communicate and will create something like wall in which will be a great obstacle in the communication flow.


4.       Personal Judgments: You as a person keep telling to yourself, this person is not good enough, he doesn’t understand, or not experienced, so, what about you, have you born with experience? By doing this, you are blocking communication channels and I guess you will do that with everybody because, you see yourself at the top of the knowledge pyramid.


 5.   Personal Conflicts, this is the most common problem, you don’t like your manager, that’s it maybe because you don’t like his attitude, behavior (personal attributes) or as a manager so, what is your action? Easy, quit your jobJ, and you will always be a quitter, try to resolve your issues by communicating.



Above, I have just given some examples, but, in life there are more and more and more, so, what should you do?


1.       First of all, think about what’s the real problem that caused the current situation? Try to make a list if it’s more than one, and prioritize the items in a descending order and think how to resolve each of them and make a list of alternatives for each problem.


 2.       Then, buy him or her a present, it’s not important how much it is, but, at least it breaks the walls between you and him/her and creates a good channel for communication, this idea isn’t mind, it was giving to me by a friend of mine


What if he/she is your BOSS, even so, buy a simple gift, not expensive because, if it was expensive so, it would be considered as a bribe, a colleague of mine told me that if I got him a present it would be bribe and this is unacceptable, so, I replied, if you are doing this because, you always get late to work or takes a lot of permissions to leave early it would be a bribe but, if you are not doing that, it is not.


 3.        now we have a communication channel maybe it’s weak or good depends; at least, the other party is ready to listen or speak, so, start with each of your solutions try to understand the other’s party ideas, or feelings, just listen more than you talk, and don’t reply quickly, think about what is the impact of your response, will it be positive or negative?





You are not alone, you are part of the community, and you need to interact and be an active member, so, COMMUNICATE.